In normal times I never read my emails before lunch. In fact I usually don’t switch on my computer until I’ve finished the morning chores and done at least some physical work. If the theatre is running then I usually re-set the show the day before, straight after the audience have left. So then my morning usually starts by sweeping and mopping the auditorium, cleaning the toilets, emptying the waste bins and replenishing toilet rolls and paper towel dispensers. I then re-set for the magic tricks part of the show, and also re-set and check the cabaret puppets. I then check my answerphone for bookings and mark up the seating plan appropriately. This usually brings me to lunch time.
After lunch I will switch on the laptop, but only on battery, and check for any email bookings. I deliberately avoid getting involved with any other emails and switch off. I then go backstage and check music and lights, change into stage clothes.
Normally it is only after the show that I switch on the computer to answer emails, update websites and so forth.
The reason I tell you this is because I know my addiction. Once I am on the computer I can happily waste the days away. There’s always someething to do, something to discover, something to experiment with. And once started I don’t stop, and nothing gets done in the real world – no cleaning, painting, re-stringing – nothing.
But now, since the fire, with all the waiting and frustration and uncertainty it is very difficult to settle to do anything. There’s so much to do that it isn’t possible to know where to start, so I start all sorts of things, find something more important, and nothing gets completed.
I have to switch on the computer in the morning because all correspondence with insurers and all the various contractors is all done via email, so I have to read and answer my emails, and then its much easier to stay on the computer all day rather than face the real world of soot and dirts and smells.
But I’ll be disciplined tomorrow – I won’t switch on the computer until I’ve done all the things I planned to do three days ago and didn’t.
Who am I kidding?